3 Surprising Reasons That Keep You From Praying (And How to Start)
I’ve been talking a lot about prayer lately (you can find those posts here and here). We know it’s an essential part of the Christian life, and yet for so many of us, it’s a struggle. A struggle to find the words, the time, the desire. And for all of these reasons and more, it becomes a source of guilt and shame instead of the life-giving practice it was meant to be.
I can relate. This was my story for more years than I’d like to admit. Stuck in an endless cycle of wanting to pray and then…not praying. Guilt and shame dogging me with each “failed” attempt and distraction.
We all want to talk with God, to hear his voice and be led by him, but we’re often disappointed with our lack of motivation, distractions or, if we’re honest, by the overall experience.
But you don’t have to remain stuck, struggling with a lackluster and disappointing prayer (or prayer-less) life. There are several attitudes and mindsets that can keep our prayers bottled up, and the three reasons we’ll talk about in this post can be subtle. Keep reading to see if one of them is tripping you up, and how you can overcome it.
Reason #1:
You’ve convinced yourself that you can’t pray/don’t know how to pray
In his sermon, “Cosmic Battle” from the series on Revelation (which I can’t recommend highly enough) Matt Chandler says accusation is Satan’s weapon of choice. He sidles up beside us and whispers, “You don’t have the right words to talk to God. You’re not as good at praying as that person from church. You’re always going to struggle to pray.” And not only have we listened, we’ve believed him and started agreeing with him.
But we’ve forgotten that Satan is the father of lies, and there is nothing truthful in him.
“He [the devil] has always hated the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, it is consistent with his character; for he is a liar and the father of lies.”
If you can say, “God, I have a hard time praying. Please help me,” then you can pray. It’s not as complicated as we make it out to be. And Satan is so pleased when we buy into this lie. It’s time to stop agreeing with him. Don’t let him steal the power that is available to you as a child of God through prayer. Next time you hear that familiar voice saying you’re can’t pray, remind yourself that it’s as simple as just saying a couple words, and then do it.
Reason #2:
You think you don’t need God’s help
Most of us would never say this, or probably even think this is a problem we struggle with, but in a culture that celebrates the independent and self-reliant individual this can easily creep into our relationship with God. We subconsciously believe that God is happier when we do things ourselves. That he’s not only happier, but he somehow expects it.
Ask yourself this simple question to see if this is an area where you struggle: When was the last time I asked God for help?
“The humble will see their God at work and be glad. Let all who seek God’s help be encouraged.”
He not only wants you to go to him for help, he expects it and rewards it. You are not a burden or a nuisance to him, and self-reliance gets us nothing but a handful of our own efforts (and frustration).
If it’s been awhile since you asked God for help, try saying this to yourself every morning for a week before you get out of bed: “I don’t have to face this day on my own. God wants to help me. All I have to do is ask.” You might feel silly at first, but it will be a powerful reminder that God is present with you and wants to be your source of daily strength and provision.
Reason #3:
You’re afraid of his answers/that he won’t answer
This one might surprise you too. But have you ever avoided a difficult conversation with a friend or loved one because you were afraid of what they would say or how they’d react? Sometimes we do the same thing with God.
Maybe there’s a sin that you’ve been battling, and you know if you talk to God he’s going to bring it up and you’re going to have to deal with it. Or maybe you know you’ll have to let go of a hurt or an offense that you’ve been clinging to for so long that it’s become a part of you.
“You are good and do only good.”
I’d like to remind you today, that God is good, and you don’t have to be afraid of what he will say (or not say) because he is only ever doing what is most good and beneficial for you—even if it seems painful at first.
Be brave today and talk to him about that thing you’re afraid to talk to him about. He’s waiting to lavish his goodness on you.
I’d love to hear from you! Leave me a comment and let me know if you found one of these tips eye-opening or helpful!
check out my new book on prayer
My new book, Praying is (not) Hard: Finally Let Go of the Baggage that Keeps You From Talking with God, is here! And it’s full of all of the tips and tools that helped me lay down guilt and shame and find freedom and joy in my conversations with God! (This page contains affiliate links. That just means I get a small commission to fund my coffee drinking habit if you purchase using these links. You don’t pay extra. Click here to read my full disclosure.)
