The Truth About Independence
“I can do it myself!”
Hang out with any strong-willed toddler and you’ll likely hear those words. I know they were on my lips as a kid because my mom likes to remind me that my stubborn, independent streak showed up early and often (and my husband will tell you it’s a trait that’s been finely honed over time).
I find it’s a phrase that’s still on my lips as an adult.
And it frequently creeps into my relationship with God.
We all want to be independent. We’re working towards autonomy from the moment we’re born.
I bet you’ll never forget the thrill of getting your first car and the freedom you felt hitting the open road all on your own. That sense of adventure and possibility, of being the big boss, the captain of your own fate.
I think that’s why it’s so hard to take the keys away from grandpa when we know his driving is getting sketchy. Because it’s about so much more than keys. Driving represents our freedom, autonomy, independence, and dignity. And we all know how much those things mean to us—it’s woven into our identity—it’s a part of us—the idea that we can do it, that we’re capable, we can handle it, we don’t need to depend on anyone to take care of us, thankyouverymuch!
I have to admit that’s my default setting whenever I have a problem, I want to fix it myself. And when that doesn’t work, I start down the list…Husband.
Friends.
God.
God is at the bottom of my list. My last call. Not the first. The last.
I know that’s not the way a relationship with Jesus is meant to be, and yet…my independent streak dies hard.
I don’t want to depend on someone else for help, I want to do it myself!
There are probably a hundred different reasons (or excuses) I could give for why I do this but, truthfully, often times I do it out of plain old fear.
There’s a vulnerability in that dependent way of living that can be pretty scary. What if God doesn’t come through? What if he lets me down, or gives me an answer I don’t like? What if he’s too busy for me and my problem? Is my problem really worth bothering him about? I probably wouldn’t normally voice these questions out loud but, if I’m being real, often times they motivate the choices that I make.
So lately it’s become painfully clear that this is the way I operate with God (and it’s not a pattern I’d like to continue), and it seems like God’s been trying to tell me something about it.Maybe, if you’re stubborn and independent like me, it will help you too.
I’ve been reading in the book of Isaiah and I noticed that God repeatedly pronounces “Doom!” and “Woe!” on people for one thing (three guesses what that thing is). If you said consulting him last (or not at all) you’re the winner!In Isaiah 30:1-2 he says:
“You make plans, but not mine. You make deals, but not in my Spirit…going off to Egypt without so much as asking me.”
And Isaiah 31:1 says:
“Doom to those who go off to Egypt thinking that horses can help them, impressed by military mathematics, awed by sheer numbers of chariots and riders—And to the Holy of Israel, not even a glance, not so much as a prayer to God.”
Are you sensing a theme? Well, I certainly was, and I definitely don’t want biblical doom and woe heaped on me!
But as I continued reading I came across this verse in Philippians:
“Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.” (Phil. 4:6-7)
That’s it. Here's the question. Am I willing to give up some of my independence and need for control to have Jesus at my center, displacing my worry with a sense of his wholeness and that he’s working on my behalf for good? Ultimately, it’s a matter of whether or not I want my problems and worries to be in my hands or in God’s? And that’s a no-brainer. But I can lose sight of that so easily.
So today, (and everyday!) I’m praying for my first and last thought to be Jesus whenever I’m confronted with a problem or even an opportunity, because I like the picture this verse in Philippians paints of the one who has Jesus at the center of her life.
~Gut-Check and Action Steps~
Are you like me? Do you often find yourself wanting to solve your own problems and be in control of the outcomes?
What can you do to weave the truth of Philippians 4:6-7 into your heart?
If you connected with anything in this post, I'd love to hear from you!