The Complete Beginners Guide on How to Pray Effectively

Nobody likes to waste their time. We know prayer is powerful (I mean, we’re talking to an almighty God), but since we can’t see God and we seldom (if ever) get verbal responses from him, sometimes talking to God can leave us feeling a little insecure and wondering if our prayers are really making any difference at all.

I don’t know about you, but there have been a few occasions where I wondered if I was wasting my time praying. I wondered if God was really listening. I wondered if he would actually do anything on my behalf. But mostly I just wondered if I was doing it right. Were my prayers the kinds of words that God listened to? Or was I just wasting my breath?

“Sometimes talking to God can leave us feeling a little insecure and wondering if our prayers are really making any difference at all. ”

To really get to the heart behind the question, “How do I pray effectively?” we need to unpack two different questions tucked neatly within that initial question. Once you answer these two questions, you’ll be well on your way to having the vibrant and effective prayer life you’ve always wanted. The first one is so simple you may have overlooked it.

Question #1: How would I define “effective” prayer?

What does having an effective or successful prayer life look like to you? This question could have 7 billion different answers, because your definition and measure of an effective prayer could look very different from mine. But I would venture to say that all of us have some subconscious and conscious ideas about what makes a prayer effective.

Try this: take out a sheet of paper or open the notes app on your phone and make a list of what your brain defines as a “successful” or “good” prayer. And while you’re at it, define what makes a person a good pray-er. What does your brain believe makes a prayer effective? In your opinion, what qualities and attributes make a person good at talking with God? Be specific.

Knowing what your heart and mind believes makes for a good connection with God and a powerful prayer is an important place to start, because while many of us carry around a lot of ideas about prayer (some good and some not so good) a lot of us never take the time to sort them out and decide if they line up with what God says about prayer.

Which leads us nicely to what the Bible says about effective prayer. All prayers offered by a sincere and God-loving person are powerful and effective. God tells us this through James 5:16.

One of my favorite things to do is read a verse in several different translations to make sure I understand what it’s really saying. Here’s James 5:16 in several different versions. Check them out:

(NIV) The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

(KJV) The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

(NLT) The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.

(AMP) The heartfelt and persistent prayer of a righteous man (believer) is able to accomplish much [when put into action and made effective by God—it is dynamic and can have tremendous power].

(MSG) The prayer of a person living right with God is something powerful to be reckoned with.

After reading that verse in all of those translations, how does it shape your view of effective prayer? While it’s easy to doubt if our prayers are really making a difference I hope this verse helps you see that they really do. The best part about all of this is that while we have a role to play in prayer, the essential element that truly makes our prayers effective is the fact that we’re praying them to an effective and powerful God.

Question #2: Is there only one way to pray effectively?

Asking “How do I pray effectively?” can carry with it the implicit idea that there’s a right way and a wrong way to pray. Or at the very least, that there’s a better way to do it. I’d like to propose that there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to prayer and actually, your style of prayer could be as unique as you are! If you haven’t already, check out my prayer personality quiz and blog series that unpacks this idea in more detail.

And if you enjoyed this blog post, you’ll love my new book Praying is (not) Hard. It’s full of even more tips to help you overcome some common struggles and barriers to a thriving and joyful prayer life. Things like: boredom, disappointment and perfectionism, just to name a few. If you’ve always wanted to pray more, but found it hard to actually do, Praying is (not) Hard was written just for you!