Confession #2

*I first shared this post (and a series of “Confessions”) over 5 years ago on a previous blog, and it still humbles me to think of the lengths to which Jesus has gone to draw me close--and I'm still very much a work in progress. Many of you came to the blog after I wrote this series, so I’m sharing it again over the next several months. If it connects with you in any way I’d love to hear from you!

Confession #2:

I am judgmental. I’ve done it a hundred times. Today. Judged someone or something. You probably have too. In my last confession I divulged that I can be a real hypocrite, but I started viewing others with more grace when I finally realized the depth of my own sin and the true condition of my heart.

Unfortunately, that newfound grace did not translate very well to people within the church.  People who, from the outside looking in, seemed to be the “perfect” Christians (whatever that means). I saw them every week, rushing to the Bible class they taught, or the small group they led, and I felt the weight of unspoken expectations and questions of why I wasn’t “involved” fall on my shoulders.

And I judged them for judging me. 

Whether the judgment I felt was real or perceived, who knows? And it’s not really the point. The point is I had traded one judgmental attitude for another!  (Alas, it's such a hard habit to break) In switching off my judgment of fellow sinners, I found a new, more zealous judgment for people who were followers of Jesus. Heaven help me!

The thing is, judgment is like kidney stones. It’s pretty easy to pass, but painful for everyone involved--especially yourself. And once they’ve been in your system, it’s really hard to keep them from coming back. I thought I had conquered my judgmental thoughts, only to have them boomerang back with a new target.

It was an ugly cycle that ultimately led to a season of isolation and loneliness, because everyone was “too judgey” to befriend. I look back now and realize I was the  judgmental one. Once I got to know those people, I realized they hadn’t been judging me at all, and it was my own perceptions and judgments that had gotten in the way. Again!

I now realize the real culprit behind my high and mighty judgments was pride. Pride and comparison. Judging someone else as less than enabled me to feel better about myself--though not for very long.

One thing I’ve learned since first writing this blog post over five years ago, is that I never regret the times I choose not to judge. To extend grace and empathy instead of harsh judgment. To realize most people are doing the best they can. Let’s be people who embrace the heart of God which tells us…

“Refuse to be a critic full of bias toward others, and judgment will not be passed on you. For you’ll be judged by the same standard that you’ve used to judge others. The measurement you use on them will be used on you. Why would you focus on the flaw in someones else’s life and yet fail to notice the glaring flaws of your own?”

Matthew 7:1-3 TPT

I don’t know about you, but I’ve got enough flaws in my own life to be confessing for a lifetime. May we each be humble enough to acknowledge our own flaws, and gracious when we notice others’ flaws.

Much love friends!