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Today I’m doing something you won’t find me doing often on this blog…talking about parenting. But in honor of Mother’s Day yesterday, I wanted to say a few words. Actually, what I want to say is less about parenthood and more about the pressure we put on ourselves to be the perfect parents–or at least reasonably sane ones 🙂
It’s a pressure I feel almost daily. In the moments when I lose my temper and yell at my kids, (like this morning, when I yelled at them for yelling at each other!) or when it’s time to paint my daughter’s face and fix her hair for her upcoming dance recital (my internal monologue sounds something like this: am I doing this right? How does the glue go on the fake eyelash? She’s 8, why am I painting her face like a streetwalker! The other moms know exactly what they’re doing! Ahhh, her daughter’s make-up looks perfect. How did they get those eyelashes on? I don’t have a clue what I’m doing. Just give up now!!….) Really, my insecurities are endless, and are in no way limited to these two examples (I wish!).
What I’ve discovered is that most of my insecurities come from a place of wanting to do what’s best for my kids and not letting them (or my husband) down. These are good goals, so how does it become a warped pattern where I end up beating myself up for every perceived failure? For me, I think it’s because I’m still waiting to see the finished product. I want to know that I’ve not done irreparable damage to them by all of my flaws and shortcomings. But the jury’s still out on my kids–they’re 8 and 10. We have a few short years left with them before they become adults and I get to see what my parenting has done to (I mean, for!) them.
In all seriousness, I saw the movie Mom’s Night Out last night (which I highly recommend) and it was a great reminder that God has given me my children for a reason, and he also gave me to them. So for all of my flaws (of which I am well aware of each one) I am still the mom that God chose for my two kids. What a comforting thought. God chose me to be the mother of Jacob and Juliana, and he will help me with the job. He must have confidence that I can do it–and he doesn’t expect me to be perfect! That’s exactly the vote of confidence I need.
Do you struggle with insecurities as a parent? (What a silly question!)
Spend some time letting God restore your confidence as a parent–because we all know it’s a fragile thing often in need of repair!